Monday, September 14, 2009
If you know that doing something will hurt a person, but you also know that the person will probably never ever find out will you go ahead and do it?
Some people would.
And yes, I might.
If you know that a person wants to do something that will hurt another person, and in order for him/her to commit the act of hurting, your company will be needed. Will you get yourself involved?
Some people would.
Well. I wouldn't.
There are girls who work hard at painting their faces everyday. Foundation, blushers, eye shadows, eye liners and the now so popular fake eyelashes.
I am very impressed with their efforts and commitments in doing so because I cannot do it. At least not every time I have to step out of the door. And I wonder to myself if that is a good thing or a bad thing because I am comfortable in my own skin but many takes more to a flawless pretty face, despite the thick thick layers that are skillfully well concealed.
I have Scars, blemishes, open pores and acne. They are unsightly but I am working to heal them instead of painting over them. Occasionally I will need to paint, but at the end of the day as I stand in front of the mirror and strip off the layers, I feel a sore emptiness if not disgust, at the streaks of paints smudging from the day's wear. This is also why I am impressed with the people who can do it all the time. I hope that when my face is healed I will be proud to shine as who I am.
Alot of things are more than skin deep and painting myself is not a habit I will want to pick up for that case.
Posted at 11:34 am by Julswee
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
I got onto a train without knowing its destination.
The train ride was an interesting experience and throughout I just hoped that this will lead me to somewhere happy.
But I keep getting the feeling that I shouldn't be on this train.
Posted at 01:21 am by Julswee
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Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Just because you don't see it. Just because you are not bothered by it now, doesn't mean that it is not there.
"I can't be bothered" is the worst excuse you can ever give to brush away a subject.
Of course you can not bother. But the reason the topic is raised is because somebody IS bothered about it. Sure. Who gives a fuck if that somebody is bothered. Its not your fault. That person is just over sensitive. Its that person's own fault to be bothered by such trivial matters that doesn't bother you one bit.
To not bother is to not do anything to improve, to help or to salvage.
To not bother is to allow the problem to persist.
You tell me you are not bothered simply because you don't care to do anything about it. Screw what I feel.
Get over it by saying " why you bother? I can't be bothered." Yes. you can't be bothered. You can forget that I ever brought up the subject. But I cannot, no matter how hard I try because it continues to plague me.
Like a swell in the throat growing ever so slowly. I will choose to keep swallowing and try to ignore it. Until it seals off my air supply.
Posted at 11:51 am by Julswee
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Monday, May 04, 2009
Finally Back from the kelong trip but still feeling a little in denial. Haiz the break was badly needed but 3 days is lke not enough la. though its quite boring like all u do is actually just lazing around under the sun, fishing - which we suck at. 2nd day was best. CANOEING! AND JUMPING INTO THE SEA FROM 3M high! Weeeee! Aaarrggh I'm so not ready to come back to reality. sit a round play mahjong, slack, admire the beautiful skies with peaceful waves splashing int he background. The Sun The smell. the peace. Fireflies... Even the mosquito bites aren't half as bad. Boy I wish I'm still there... Thanks darling for organising this trip and entertaining my friends. I know you'll enjoy it more if it were ur friends who went but still you did little little things and assurances to ensure the trip a smooth and carefree one. I love you! :)
This trip left me a little disorientated.I'm getting really tired of it.Giving up is really tempting when i'm this tired but i'm having difficulties doing so.I really don't understand.If this is what you want, we are almost there.Because if i must, i will.For us to be free.I am constantly in pain.i cannot tell who is the one putting me through this anymore.
Please don' play mind games with me. Please.
Posted at 01:30 pm by Julswee
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009
It's funny how some people lament so much on the pain others caused them and yet feel that the pains they caused others are justified.
Posted at 05:20 am by Julswee
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Thursday, October 25, 2007
Most of the time I'm just hurt and hostility is the only way i know to express myself.
Posted at 02:37 pm by Julswee
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Saturday, October 20, 2007
So much resentments but none can be put into words without jeopardizing my own situation.
Maybe its just me. maybe its them. I dunno. All i know is that I'm feeling all fucked up inside and i dunno how long I can remain rational towards all this shit.
Its a tormenting battle between principles and just but in the end, the thief and the decoy shares the same pie.
Posted at 04:22 pm by Julswee
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Sunday, October 14, 2007
Every bit of perfection is intolerable.
Every bit of imperfection is despised upon.
What has become of me?
Posted at 11:32 am by Julswee
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
At work.
When you are not doing your job, keep in mind that its the others who do their jobs who are earning your pay for you. -Bambino
When you are not capable of doing your part and others who have to do it for you or clean up your mess, those people are the ones who earned the money you used to pay for your dinner.
Ms Wee must keep in mind.
Posted at 02:21 am by Julswee
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Monday, September 03, 2007
One Hand in My Pocket - Alanis Morissette
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby
And when it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and i'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm workin, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby
When it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And when it all comes down to
Is that I havent got it all figured out just yet
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby
And when it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is playing a piano
And when it comes down to my dear friends, yeah
Is that everything is just fine, fine, fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab
Posted at 02:59 am by Julswee
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